"The Demystification of How One Soccer Playing Bible Bashing Woman Ends Up At Supernatural School of Ministry"
An intriguing tale indeed, if time permits you I'd like to share this story of the past 3 years or so of my life.
Some time in 1993 in Miami Springs, Florida a nine year old girl fell in love. She fell in love with the sport of soccer. In the midst of family struggles and the crazy advent of puberty and adolescence, this young girl clung desperately to her lover for identity and safe harbor from the confusion all around. But as the years went by she began to experience the affects of clinging to a love that could never really satisfy, and to a persona who was never really she. For little did she know then that the things we do or achieve are not at all the composition of who we really are, and a great sadness began to sink in, little by little, until it over took the now young woman who had never let herself be fully known by herself or anyone else outside of kicking around a silly soccer ball.
Here is where things get interesting. Up to this point I hope you can tell that "she" is me!:) I played soccer in college all four years and every year I sunk deeper and deeper in to depression. By the tail end of my senior year I had learned to manage my depression, but this one day I just did not know what to do, graduation was coming up and I had no plans (after all, essentially soccer was my major in college). And so one cold dark spring day in New York I about to get ready to go somewhere and I was overcome with despair. I fell to my knees and for the first time lifted my head to the sky and said "What am I going to do?!" and I heard "Just pray." So I began to pray every night. Soon later an opportunity came for me to play soccer professionally in Denmark which I within two months would quit to face the great unknown, knowing full well that I was hiding in soccer. And also a man came into my life that while the relationship was brief and less than ideal He shared with me about this Jesus. Four months of wine drinking, mad- journaling, long walk taking, soul searching and a four month long road trip up the East Coast later God came marching into my life. I simply would not settle until this hunger was satisfied, I knew there had to me more. A dear friend I hadn't heard from in 6 years called me and I knew she was changed and somehow peaceful since the last time I saw her. Jesus had gotten a hold of her life and now I could ask her about all the burning exploding feeling in my chest and all my questions! She pointed me to a semi-pro Christian soccer team called the Charlotte Eagles in Charlotte, NC. Now, up until about a year or so before this point I wanted nothing to do with Jesus or Christianity for the majority of my life, I thought this soccer team was going to be a bunch long skirt and turtleneck wearing open toed sandals and no make up kind of gig. Fortunately, they were a bunch of incredibly talented soccer players and beautiful cool women, who would lead me to the Lord and baptize me in the Gulf of Mexico on a road trip. When this happened I knew that God loved me and that He now lived inside of me and I would never experience the degree of the emptiness that depression had over me again. This team would also invite me on my first missions trips. First to Brazil for 4 months!! That was so tough, but awesome! and then later to Ethiopia in April 2008.
This is where the supernatural part comes in so get ready because I know what I experienced and I know I am not crazy. Up to this point in all my Bible reading, I had just assumed that angels and demons and miracles and deliverance and satan was this super high lofty esoteric realm that surely little 6 month old Christian Holly would never experience or only existed back in the Bible day. But how like Jesus to say "You are ready now for I am sufficient." The Lady Eagles took a team trip to Ethiopia where a portion of our trip would be spending time(4 days) and ministering to an Ethiopian women's soccer team. We spent this time with them out at a camp in the bush playing soccer, having fun, and sharing stories. For those four days I began having nightmares where I would wake up literally paralyzed and one night even watched as a dark figure approached me and I could no longer tell if my eyes were open or closed. I was scared. By the fourth day at dinner time we would quickly discover one of the Ethiopian soccer players was demonically possessed as she manifested in incredible strength right in front of our eyes. Leaders immediately took her to a safe place and began praying for her deliverance and exercising the authority of Jesus over her. Meanwhile our team worshiped and prayed for an hour until the lady was delivered and walked out in perfect peace. This was my first experience with the supernatural, unfortunately the dark side of it. But it was not over for me.
A few weeks later, as my second season with the Lady Eagles began, I began again having nightmares in which I would awake paralyzed and would feel and the presence of evil in my room. I would at one point actually see that a demon was in my room for a period of 2 months. In this time I felt helpless against it for I did not know the authority of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit within me. The Bible was a live and well for me and realized that the word of God really was my sword (Eph 6). And that "For in Him dwells the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." Colossians 2:9-10 Once I began to accept this I would slowly but surely work up the courage to face the demon in my room. And one night I was determined so I sat up in my bed and began to pray until I believed what I was praying and I literally could feel the difference of just me praying and then suddenly I felt myself full of the truth and presence of Jesus, at this moment the demon just left. For it is that way. "Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it" Colossians 2:15 And I understood that Jesus in power was really in me.
This catapulted me into the world of the supernatural Christianity whether I wanted it or not. And if satan is real and has real power over the ignorant I chose to become un-ignorant and began to take authority of the places in my life that I realized satan was having a picnic. One being depression. (Note: I realize that some cases of depression require some medical help and cannot be treated entirely as a spiritual case) There are more things that God has brought up over this past year but as I bring it to the power of Jesus, it must bow down to his precious name and obey.
And I now understand Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
So if the evil is real, how much more is God's reality, His healing, His miracles, His signs and wonders? And then I read this verse..."John14:12 "Most assuredly I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father." WHAT???!!! Greater works??? ME???
Now I know it is not about miracles in and of themselves. For what He desires is simply us to know Him and be known. Salvation in and of itself is a miracle and supernatural event. Through His works, we learn what He is like, and Jesus healed every single person that came to Him. And Jesus only did what He saw His Father do in heaven. That tells me a lot about the heart of the Father. And suddenly I realized that I was living under the visage of a lesser Gospel, living under less than what Jesus paid the price for me to have.
But the problem was I was not seeing this in my everyday life or in everyday church. No one was talking about it, but it is right there in front of my face and right in my bedroom! My experience of Jesus has been separate from any ingrained theology or denomination and I realized that the Bible was not fully alive in the place I was in outside of the pages it was written on. Sure there was a whole lot behavior heart modification and studies being taught(which are so valuable), but no interaction, relationship or mention of the Person of the Holy Spirit who Jesus spent a hefty amount of time talking about and even told the disciples NOT to go out and minister until the Holy Spirit came and they received power.
So I have found myself here at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, where I am letting the Word of God work in and through me. When I look at the ministry of Jesus there was nothing natural about it and if He not only is our example but also lives in us, it doesn't seem that crazy to say "supernatural." Reading the Bible it just seems like the supernatural is everyday Christian life. Jesus is the same today, as He was then, and will ever be. I am unaware of whatever publicity or articles are online about this place, all I know is that I read a few books by the pastors and been listening to their Sunday morning sermons via podcast for the past year and come alive inside. And I am fully committed to follow Jesus and power of His love wherever it takes me, that I may become more free and more filled with Him that I can be like Paul when He says "For the Kingdom of God is not in word, but in power" 1Corinthians 4:20, all coming from the overflow of the greatest commandment of loving God with all my being and life and loving others as myself. And I am watching joyfully as the fruits of the Spirit are manifesting themselves in my life by the incredible working of God. I am free, by the glorious work of Jesus!
So please forgive the length of this address but I felt I had to do it. It was not meant to put anything in anyone's face but expose my journey as I lived it these past two and half years. I want to live transparently, honorably, and passionately for what I believe and know to be true. Bless you for reading this, and thank you so much for being apart of my life.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
2 Timothy 1:12
BAM! Thats how this verse hit me, I tingled all over.
2Timothy 1:12 For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless, I am not ashamed for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day.
So. As I mentioned in an early post about getting to know the person of the Holy Spirit, not just about Him. When I read this verse a lot became clear for me, I realized that I knew a lot of God's promises and a lot things that I know to be true about Him based upon certain Scripture that I have read, but that still does not mean that I know Him! Punched in the face...POW!
I realized that this is what seperates Moses from the Israelites. The Israelites knew God's promise for them and lived in a continual state of being in want and cashing in their promise...a cold business transaction that God willingly in His love accepts. But Moses.... Moses saw God face to face, He knew His Presence, He glowed from it. It was from this posture and relationship that Moses could not help but ask God Almighty "Show me your glory." And that was the OT! The lesser covenant! Where the Presence resided in an object, but now...it resides in us. He wants to know us, not for anything we could do or any promise we could keep...(Abrahams faith alone made him righteous, no work, no labor...just faith), and our relationship to Him should be the same, just because His Presence is so sweet, it is where we shine with His glory that we are free to show to the world. It is His presence where Paul can say, "I know Him." Anyone can know the promises of God, but only those who go to the secret place, to the "thick darkness where God was"(Ex20:21). And so I have set off to know Him and to know His Presence and when it comes into the room like a friend, I want to be able to recognize His Presence. I even think we can go so far to say that our physical bodies were built to be able to sense it. After all His desire was to inhabit us.
Psalm 91:1
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of His wing.
I am learning to practice the Presence, and like Moses refusing to move until it comes.
I was really encouraged, (well sort of) by some of out pastors here who have had incredible encounters with God, some students asked how did it come to you, and they have repeatedly said its crying out in the secret place, creating your own private history with God. When you go into meet Him to not have any agenda and setting all of your affection on Him, and just see what happens....
I have only experienced a little bit, but I have been repeatedly reminded to be thankful for what I do get and have and God will pour out more. Be thankful, be in love.
May anyone who read just fall more and more in love with the Lover of our souls.
2Timothy 1:12 For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless, I am not ashamed for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day.
So. As I mentioned in an early post about getting to know the person of the Holy Spirit, not just about Him. When I read this verse a lot became clear for me, I realized that I knew a lot of God's promises and a lot things that I know to be true about Him based upon certain Scripture that I have read, but that still does not mean that I know Him! Punched in the face...POW!
I realized that this is what seperates Moses from the Israelites. The Israelites knew God's promise for them and lived in a continual state of being in want and cashing in their promise...a cold business transaction that God willingly in His love accepts. But Moses.... Moses saw God face to face, He knew His Presence, He glowed from it. It was from this posture and relationship that Moses could not help but ask God Almighty "Show me your glory." And that was the OT! The lesser covenant! Where the Presence resided in an object, but now...it resides in us. He wants to know us, not for anything we could do or any promise we could keep...(Abrahams faith alone made him righteous, no work, no labor...just faith), and our relationship to Him should be the same, just because His Presence is so sweet, it is where we shine with His glory that we are free to show to the world. It is His presence where Paul can say, "I know Him." Anyone can know the promises of God, but only those who go to the secret place, to the "thick darkness where God was"(Ex20:21). And so I have set off to know Him and to know His Presence and when it comes into the room like a friend, I want to be able to recognize His Presence. I even think we can go so far to say that our physical bodies were built to be able to sense it. After all His desire was to inhabit us.
Psalm 91:1
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of His wing.
I am learning to practice the Presence, and like Moses refusing to move until it comes.
I was really encouraged, (well sort of) by some of out pastors here who have had incredible encounters with God, some students asked how did it come to you, and they have repeatedly said its crying out in the secret place, creating your own private history with God. When you go into meet Him to not have any agenda and setting all of your affection on Him, and just see what happens....
I have only experienced a little bit, but I have been repeatedly reminded to be thankful for what I do get and have and God will pour out more. Be thankful, be in love.
May anyone who read just fall more and more in love with the Lover of our souls.
Covenant
http://www.biblestudymanuals.net/jewish_marriage_customs.htm
http://gracethrufaith.com/selah/eternal-security/the-covenant-relationship/
Okay, so someone mentioned this phrase and truth about our status as believers"I am convenentially bound to the Uncreated One." And so, I thought to myself..."You can't just hear something like that and not look into it at least a little bit." So I started to look up covenants and what they looked like to our ancient Hebrew brothers and sisters, and what that now means for us as were are in marriage covenant with Jesus. The two websites above show different kinds of covenants, covenant of brotherhood that Jonathan and David made, and also marriage covenant. I found that it really enriched my view and understanding of what God has done with us. It would be a whole lot to type out but I wanted to offer the websites so you could check it out at your leisure. Enjoy! I hope they bless you as they did me.
http://gracethrufaith.com/selah/eternal-security/the-covenant-relationship/
Okay, so someone mentioned this phrase and truth about our status as believers"I am convenentially bound to the Uncreated One." And so, I thought to myself..."You can't just hear something like that and not look into it at least a little bit." So I started to look up covenants and what they looked like to our ancient Hebrew brothers and sisters, and what that now means for us as were are in marriage covenant with Jesus. The two websites above show different kinds of covenants, covenant of brotherhood that Jonathan and David made, and also marriage covenant. I found that it really enriched my view and understanding of what God has done with us. It would be a whole lot to type out but I wanted to offer the websites so you could check it out at your leisure. Enjoy! I hope they bless you as they did me.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
HEALING!
A woman who had MS for 30 years and was in a wheel chair with only the use of her right arm was healed this morning at the healing rooms at Bethel, she pushed her own wheel chair out of the healing rooms! YEA JESUS! There is video on my facebook page if you have facebook!
I will paste the testimony:
This happened on October 31, 2009 at the healing rooms at Bethel Church. This is the best time to be alive!!! --- This is the story she gave to the testimony writer. --- Terry from Redding, CA In March, she was given 6 months to live. She was diagnosed with galloping Multiple Sclerosis about 29-30 years ago. She wou...ld have a burning skin sensation like running an iron over a bad sunburn (pain level 10) constantly, no painkillers would work. She had limited movement/mobility with her arms, and her right hand was clenched up in a fist (for the past year). She had lost her sense of balance, and would often fall, so she also has had 5 years of back pain (level 10). This morning, she didn’t take any pain medicine, and after she came in for prayer, she felt a healing warmth over her back (she could tell she was getting healed). ALL the burning pain left, she can raise up her hands all the way up, side to side, her right hand was no longer clenched! She can open her hand wide and touch every finger to her thumb. She regained her sense of balance and she then she was able to stand up and dance! Her husband, Jeff, said that earlier that week, Terry was feeling very hopeless, because she felt unworthy to ask God for help and healing. She was near the brink of taking her own life until she finally decided to yield herself and came to the healing rooms! Terry plans to go to an MS center in Sacramento to get all her tests redone to share the goodness of Jesus!
I will paste the testimony:
This happened on October 31, 2009 at the healing rooms at Bethel Church. This is the best time to be alive!!! --- This is the story she gave to the testimony writer. --- Terry from Redding, CA In March, she was given 6 months to live. She was diagnosed with galloping Multiple Sclerosis about 29-30 years ago. She wou...ld have a burning skin sensation like running an iron over a bad sunburn (pain level 10) constantly, no painkillers would work. She had limited movement/mobility with her arms, and her right hand was clenched up in a fist (for the past year). She had lost her sense of balance, and would often fall, so she also has had 5 years of back pain (level 10). This morning, she didn’t take any pain medicine, and after she came in for prayer, she felt a healing warmth over her back (she could tell she was getting healed). ALL the burning pain left, she can raise up her hands all the way up, side to side, her right hand was no longer clenched! She can open her hand wide and touch every finger to her thumb. She regained her sense of balance and she then she was able to stand up and dance! Her husband, Jeff, said that earlier that week, Terry was feeling very hopeless, because she felt unworthy to ask God for help and healing. She was near the brink of taking her own life until she finally decided to yield herself and came to the healing rooms! Terry plans to go to an MS center in Sacramento to get all her tests redone to share the goodness of Jesus!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
a promise
just wanted to share this promise,
Psalm 112:1-4
Praise the Lord!
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
Who delights greatly in His commandments.
His descendents will be mighty on earth;
The generation of the upright will blessed.
Wealth and riches will be in his house,
And his righteousness endures forever.
Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;
He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
Blessings, heavenly encounters, grace, and deeper revelation of Father's heart to all who read this.
Psalm 112:1-4
Praise the Lord!
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
Who delights greatly in His commandments.
His descendents will be mighty on earth;
The generation of the upright will blessed.
Wealth and riches will be in his house,
And his righteousness endures forever.
Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;
He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
Blessings, heavenly encounters, grace, and deeper revelation of Father's heart to all who read this.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
responding
The past few days there has been a magnified intensity it feels like of God's attention on my life, on the things that I've been crying out for, it's incredible and exhausting. The past two days at school were the most incredible days of responding to and crying out for the presence of God in community I have ever been apart of. It was a glimpse of what revival is going to be like. There has been this momentum building of hunger for God for His glorious presence. You could feel this anticipation and expectancy in the air at school.
On Thursday of this week we were worshiping God, the music was great and people were encountering God like they usually do, but something shifted in the room and in the worship and as a body we just decided spontaneously and harmoniously that there was about to be a violence in our faith (matthew 11:12) our worship became a cry, a plea, a sacrfice, a celebration before Him. It was beautiful everyone was dancing before God like David did, singing in unison and then in their own language, I can only imagine what God saw and how He felt about His kids worshiping Him.
The room felt so sweet and just JOYOUS! The stage and the aisles flooded with students dancing wildly. You could feel burdens and strongholds in people's lives just breaking off. It was incredible.
And then the next day, Friday, a student was sharing an incredible God story from her weekend where this guy that she had met was heavily into Satanic worship but just saw her encountering God in so much joy that he asked her what she was experiencing and she told him it was the Holy Spirit and that if he wanted he could experience it to. He told her that he did and so she prayed for him to encounter the Holy Spirit and he did! He just started laughing uncontrollably with joy and he said he wanted to know Jesus after that! It was crazy! Something was just released into the room while she was sharing this story. When she finished we just shouted out to God to be rocked by the Holy Spirit! And well...He came into the room and we just busted out into worship(you couldn't help it) and encountering the Spirit, some people were shaking from His presence, some weeping, some laughing and shouting praises. Bill Johnson was about to start speaking to us but he just stood there at the podium and let us respond to the Spirit's presence...for 40 minutes! We were praying, and singing just broke out, no instruments no leader nothing just His kids singing and loving Him. And it ended as Bill just lead us in "Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him" . It was so powerful and I got to feel the Holy Spirit like I never have before my spirit was fluttering within me. And there was nothing else for your being to do but worship, it was instinctual and outside of my control. Shear joy and goodness was penetrating every part of you that caused your spirit to bend to the Source of it all, whose very nature is love, joy and only good.
My prayer is for God to teach me to recognize His presence, it is too sweet to miss and something we weren't created to live without.
God is too good to be true all the time.
psalm16:11 In Your presence is fullness of joy;
psalm 97:5 The mountains melt like wax at the presence of the Lord,
psalm 149:2-3 Let Israel rejoice in their Maker; Let the children of Zion be joyful in their King. Let them praise His name with dance; let them sing praises to Him.
psalm 30:11-12 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
2 Samuel 6:14 Then David danced before the Lord with all his might
On Thursday of this week we were worshiping God, the music was great and people were encountering God like they usually do, but something shifted in the room and in the worship and as a body we just decided spontaneously and harmoniously that there was about to be a violence in our faith (matthew 11:12) our worship became a cry, a plea, a sacrfice, a celebration before Him. It was beautiful everyone was dancing before God like David did, singing in unison and then in their own language, I can only imagine what God saw and how He felt about His kids worshiping Him.
The room felt so sweet and just JOYOUS! The stage and the aisles flooded with students dancing wildly. You could feel burdens and strongholds in people's lives just breaking off. It was incredible.
And then the next day, Friday, a student was sharing an incredible God story from her weekend where this guy that she had met was heavily into Satanic worship but just saw her encountering God in so much joy that he asked her what she was experiencing and she told him it was the Holy Spirit and that if he wanted he could experience it to. He told her that he did and so she prayed for him to encounter the Holy Spirit and he did! He just started laughing uncontrollably with joy and he said he wanted to know Jesus after that! It was crazy! Something was just released into the room while she was sharing this story. When she finished we just shouted out to God to be rocked by the Holy Spirit! And well...He came into the room and we just busted out into worship(you couldn't help it) and encountering the Spirit, some people were shaking from His presence, some weeping, some laughing and shouting praises. Bill Johnson was about to start speaking to us but he just stood there at the podium and let us respond to the Spirit's presence...for 40 minutes! We were praying, and singing just broke out, no instruments no leader nothing just His kids singing and loving Him. And it ended as Bill just lead us in "Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him" . It was so powerful and I got to feel the Holy Spirit like I never have before my spirit was fluttering within me. And there was nothing else for your being to do but worship, it was instinctual and outside of my control. Shear joy and goodness was penetrating every part of you that caused your spirit to bend to the Source of it all, whose very nature is love, joy and only good.
My prayer is for God to teach me to recognize His presence, it is too sweet to miss and something we weren't created to live without.
God is too good to be true all the time.
psalm16:11 In Your presence is fullness of joy;
psalm 97:5 The mountains melt like wax at the presence of the Lord,
psalm 149:2-3 Let Israel rejoice in their Maker; Let the children of Zion be joyful in their King. Let them praise His name with dance; let them sing praises to Him.
psalm 30:11-12 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
2 Samuel 6:14 Then David danced before the Lord with all his might
Monday, October 19, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
It's been a minute...
It has been big minute since the last time that I shared, for a couple reasons, the main one being that the past couple weeks have been kind of hard for me and I haven't understood it all and haven't had something clear to share. We have been learning a lot about our identity and God's character. In short, a lot is being stirred up and has yet to settle. However, there is something I think of value to share.
One of the main reasons I came to Bethel was because I knew they were experiencing here the closest thing to the authentic Gospel, save things that seem to happen in my experience only in places like Africa, a Gospel of God's awesome outrageous supernatural love.
I am in a place where miracles and signs and wonders happen on a regular basis as a normal part of the Christian life, this supernatural dimension of Christian normalcy is clearly missing in a huge part of today's church. I don't say this with accusation, but I say this with heaviness of heart because it is a huge part of the Father that we as a body are missing out on. It is a place personaly that I am yet to break into, but I know for I both have seen and believe it to be who God is and who He has sent us out to be for His Namesake.
Anyway, in all this, the staff has made it clear to us that the living in the supernatural as a goal in and of itself is not the point. As in all things of God, He desires relationship, and I am learning that the supernatural is born and carried out through a relationship with the person the Holy Spirit and a lifestyle of sweet worship to Him. Also, we've talking about to never stop talking about the things that God has done and is doing, to never stop sharing testimony, for it was when Israel forgot that they stopped seeing and experienceing Him and would fall. (Rev19:10 ..Worship God! For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. )The Senior Pastor Bill Johnson said in so many words the other day, being friends with Holy Spirit just for the stuff He can do or give you is just like being friends with someone for what you get out of it, they won't be friends with you very long.
Here is a cool story from class the other day:
So Bill Johnson has just finished lecturing on stage in the main sanctuary and it was Q&A time from the students. The first student stood up and ask Bill "We heard you were a worship leader before you were a pastor, what made you decide to change, how did that happen for you and would you ever consider leading worship for us?" And as he was asking the question it began raining on the stage! It was raining outside pretty heavily anyway, so my first thought was that it was a leak or something, but firstly the water wasnt falling like a leak it was falling like rain falls and secondly there was not water or wetness anywhere where it should have been landing. Bill said that he was afraid to answer the question after he saw the rain! It was so neat!
Let it rain Lord!!!! "Psalm 68:8 The heaven's also dropped rain at the presence of God"
Luke 1:37"For with God nothing will be impossible"
One of the main reasons I came to Bethel was because I knew they were experiencing here the closest thing to the authentic Gospel, save things that seem to happen in my experience only in places like Africa, a Gospel of God's awesome outrageous supernatural love.
I am in a place where miracles and signs and wonders happen on a regular basis as a normal part of the Christian life, this supernatural dimension of Christian normalcy is clearly missing in a huge part of today's church. I don't say this with accusation, but I say this with heaviness of heart because it is a huge part of the Father that we as a body are missing out on. It is a place personaly that I am yet to break into, but I know for I both have seen and believe it to be who God is and who He has sent us out to be for His Namesake.
Anyway, in all this, the staff has made it clear to us that the living in the supernatural as a goal in and of itself is not the point. As in all things of God, He desires relationship, and I am learning that the supernatural is born and carried out through a relationship with the person the Holy Spirit and a lifestyle of sweet worship to Him. Also, we've talking about to never stop talking about the things that God has done and is doing, to never stop sharing testimony, for it was when Israel forgot that they stopped seeing and experienceing Him and would fall. (Rev19:10 ..Worship God! For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. )The Senior Pastor Bill Johnson said in so many words the other day, being friends with Holy Spirit just for the stuff He can do or give you is just like being friends with someone for what you get out of it, they won't be friends with you very long.
Here is a cool story from class the other day:
So Bill Johnson has just finished lecturing on stage in the main sanctuary and it was Q&A time from the students. The first student stood up and ask Bill "We heard you were a worship leader before you were a pastor, what made you decide to change, how did that happen for you and would you ever consider leading worship for us?" And as he was asking the question it began raining on the stage! It was raining outside pretty heavily anyway, so my first thought was that it was a leak or something, but firstly the water wasnt falling like a leak it was falling like rain falls and secondly there was not water or wetness anywhere where it should have been landing. Bill said that he was afraid to answer the question after he saw the rain! It was so neat!
Let it rain Lord!!!! "Psalm 68:8 The heaven's also dropped rain at the presence of God"
Luke 1:37"For with God nothing will be impossible"
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Holy
It is really hard to choose what to write about for this blog, but I'm just going to do my best to let God have the reigns. What I feel that I am supposed to talk about is having a holy desperation for God. We just a read book about the Welsh revival that happened in 1904-1905, it was started by a bunch of uneducated young adults... A key player in this revival was a 26 year old coal miner. Could be a 20 whatever year old soccer player/coach/barista/ student/ you fill in the blank. But these kids were just hungry as all get out for more of God, they cried out for God to pour out His Spirit. The culture at the time that these kids cried out in was dark, their country and city was over run by all sorts of darkness and corruption. And when revival hit, it spread into every single sphere of society to the point where the prisons were absolutely emptied of all its prisoners.
I have only been here for two weeks, and there is too much to try to explain and describe all that I am learning and thinking about. But I am becoming increasingly aware of the ferocity of God's love, His all-consuming jealousy to be our hearts desire, and the incredible intimacy we were created for. I am also becoming increasingly aware that He is seeking those who are abandoned to His purposes. For those who hunger and thirst for Him and His righteousness, "for they will be satisfied." It's a promise.
Being here for these two weeks has wet my appetite at the potential I see all around me, we are a precious holy loved royal people who have all of heaven on their side to "let His will be done His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven" with the promise from Jesus, that we would do greater works than He. (john 14:10ish). The potential all around me is almost unbearable for this earthen vessel to contain, actually it was meant to overflow with His presence so I guess thats normal:) We can and I'm realizing are responsible for what happens in our homes, cities, and countries, we can take ownership over them in prayer. I read a really good idea once, that there was a group who just prayed over articles they read in the newspaper taking ownership over what happens in their city like when God said to Joshua "Wherever the sole of you foot treads I will give to you"Joshua1:3
They have been talking to us about sharing testimony to what God has done in the past, because when we release what God has done it becomes prophecy to what He can do. And I want to claim that revival, that 26 year old uneducated coal miner along with his "unqualified" friends started a revival with hunger that only He could satisfy, let that testimony be our prophecy.
I have only been here for two weeks, and there is too much to try to explain and describe all that I am learning and thinking about. But I am becoming increasingly aware of the ferocity of God's love, His all-consuming jealousy to be our hearts desire, and the incredible intimacy we were created for. I am also becoming increasingly aware that He is seeking those who are abandoned to His purposes. For those who hunger and thirst for Him and His righteousness, "for they will be satisfied." It's a promise.
Being here for these two weeks has wet my appetite at the potential I see all around me, we are a precious holy loved royal people who have all of heaven on their side to "let His will be done His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven" with the promise from Jesus, that we would do greater works than He. (john 14:10ish). The potential all around me is almost unbearable for this earthen vessel to contain, actually it was meant to overflow with His presence so I guess thats normal:) We can and I'm realizing are responsible for what happens in our homes, cities, and countries, we can take ownership over them in prayer. I read a really good idea once, that there was a group who just prayed over articles they read in the newspaper taking ownership over what happens in their city like when God said to Joshua "Wherever the sole of you foot treads I will give to you"Joshua1:3
They have been talking to us about sharing testimony to what God has done in the past, because when we release what God has done it becomes prophecy to what He can do. And I want to claim that revival, that 26 year old uneducated coal miner along with his "unqualified" friends started a revival with hunger that only He could satisfy, let that testimony be our prophecy.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Got to begin somewhere....
Let me all Thy love accepting,
Love Thee, ever all my days;
Let me seek Thy kingdom only
And my life be to Thy praise;
Thou alone shalt be my glory,
Nothing in the world I see.
Thou hast cleansed and sanctified me,
Thou Thyself hast set me free.
In Thy truth Thou dost direct me
By Thy Spirit through Thy Word;
And Thy grace my need is meeting,
As I trust in Thee, my Lord.
Of Thy fullness Thou art pouring
Thy great love and power on me,
Without measure, full and boundless,
Drawing out my heart to Thee.
And the story begins. This adventure begain burning in my heart the first time I heard this hymn, and was confirmed the day I arrived in Redding when it was played during worship at my first Sunday morning service at Bethel. It was a precious moment to me. And it this hymn that explains my pursuit at this place. To seek the "fullness Thou art pouring Thy great love and power on me, without measure, full and boundless". I have to believe that the same Spirit which was sent from the Father on the day of Pentacost that came in power like a might rushing wind, .... is in me. That it is with this Spirit that Jesus has sent us to "Go and make disciples of all nations" the same way He did. As the Father sent Him, He sends us. He said that greater works than He that we will also do in His name. I have to believe that I am precious to God, that I was worth dying for, and that because of Him who is in me, I now ache for those and that which is lost in the world.
So thank you so much for reading, I fully realize that I did not get here on my own, and am not here for myself, I take so many loved ones with me and miss my family that God has given me these past two years, I am here for them too. So any questions, concerns, interests anything ask it and I will seek it out. Whatever you want to know or here about please tell me so I know what to share:) Any prayer requests, please tell me I want to lift it up and pray with you.
I have been in school here one week and feel as though I have learned so much already more than I think I can even process in such a short time. But I just wanted to share a few things to start as this journey begins. This is place and verse that God has given me repeatedly:
John 5:19 "Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do NOTHING of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in a like manner."
If Jesus was completely reliant upon the Father and could do nothing within the limitations of being fully man, (as we are) then, boy.... I am realizing the magnitude to which I am to be reliant upon and in INTIMATE relationship and encounter with the Spirit.
Moving on from that thought and perhaps making it more clear, our pastor shared regarding the story of Mary and Martha, that Martha was busy making sandwiches that Jesus didn't order and is not going to eat. But Mary chose what was better, she chose relationship, intimacy. instead of running around doing things that are certainly good, but maybe not necesarily what the Spirit is doing. And the Spirit is always doing something, I know that I don't want to do what God isn't doing. I am realizing that it is from this sweet intimacy that we find out who we are, who God is, what Jesus did and what He is doing.
Then the next and last thing that has been brewing and coming up this week is that we have a God on our side, in a good mood all the time, who is supernatural, eternal, infinite, delighted in us, in love with us, is romancing us, is the person of truth, limitless in wisdom, love, mercy and grace, whose ways are outside of our capability to understand or imagine. And so with that being said I am being prodded and poked and stretch to think bigger, believe bigger in everyway possible. This God is in me, we are the tabernacle of this living God dying to make Himself known to the world. We must think bigger, we must tackle the impossible with the possible God. Whatever seems impossible to you, lift it up to Him and then we are talking about walking in faith, God is dying to show up to heal people, to bring finances from anywhere, to save a city and a nation, to save and set free. The impossible. I challenge you to think of something impossible in your life right now and lift it up to Him. Essentially I am being pushed to risk BIG! If you have nothing you can think of ask God what He wants to do. He will tell you.
That is all for now, thank you so much reading. please comment or ask questions or encourage, I could use it:) With infinite love, holly
ps. please excuse grammatical and spelling/typing mistakes. please be advised that i will make a lot.
pps. The first book we had to read is "When Heaven Invades Earth" by Bill Johnson. It was pretty awesome, it gives a pretty accurate picture of the heart of Bethel.
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Love Thee, ever all my days;
Let me seek Thy kingdom only
And my life be to Thy praise;
Thou alone shalt be my glory,
Nothing in the world I see.
Thou hast cleansed and sanctified me,
Thou Thyself hast set me free.
In Thy truth Thou dost direct me
By Thy Spirit through Thy Word;
And Thy grace my need is meeting,
As I trust in Thee, my Lord.
Of Thy fullness Thou art pouring
Thy great love and power on me,
Without measure, full and boundless,
Drawing out my heart to Thee.
And the story begins. This adventure begain burning in my heart the first time I heard this hymn, and was confirmed the day I arrived in Redding when it was played during worship at my first Sunday morning service at Bethel. It was a precious moment to me. And it this hymn that explains my pursuit at this place. To seek the "fullness Thou art pouring Thy great love and power on me, without measure, full and boundless". I have to believe that the same Spirit which was sent from the Father on the day of Pentacost that came in power like a might rushing wind, .... is in me. That it is with this Spirit that Jesus has sent us to "Go and make disciples of all nations" the same way He did. As the Father sent Him, He sends us. He said that greater works than He that we will also do in His name. I have to believe that I am precious to God, that I was worth dying for, and that because of Him who is in me, I now ache for those and that which is lost in the world.
So thank you so much for reading, I fully realize that I did not get here on my own, and am not here for myself, I take so many loved ones with me and miss my family that God has given me these past two years, I am here for them too. So any questions, concerns, interests anything ask it and I will seek it out. Whatever you want to know or here about please tell me so I know what to share:) Any prayer requests, please tell me I want to lift it up and pray with you.
I have been in school here one week and feel as though I have learned so much already more than I think I can even process in such a short time. But I just wanted to share a few things to start as this journey begins. This is place and verse that God has given me repeatedly:
John 5:19 "Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do NOTHING of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in a like manner."
If Jesus was completely reliant upon the Father and could do nothing within the limitations of being fully man, (as we are) then, boy.... I am realizing the magnitude to which I am to be reliant upon and in INTIMATE relationship and encounter with the Spirit.
Moving on from that thought and perhaps making it more clear, our pastor shared regarding the story of Mary and Martha, that Martha was busy making sandwiches that Jesus didn't order and is not going to eat. But Mary chose what was better, she chose relationship, intimacy. instead of running around doing things that are certainly good, but maybe not necesarily what the Spirit is doing. And the Spirit is always doing something, I know that I don't want to do what God isn't doing. I am realizing that it is from this sweet intimacy that we find out who we are, who God is, what Jesus did and what He is doing.
Then the next and last thing that has been brewing and coming up this week is that we have a God on our side, in a good mood all the time, who is supernatural, eternal, infinite, delighted in us, in love with us, is romancing us, is the person of truth, limitless in wisdom, love, mercy and grace, whose ways are outside of our capability to understand or imagine. And so with that being said I am being prodded and poked and stretch to think bigger, believe bigger in everyway possible. This God is in me, we are the tabernacle of this living God dying to make Himself known to the world. We must think bigger, we must tackle the impossible with the possible God. Whatever seems impossible to you, lift it up to Him and then we are talking about walking in faith, God is dying to show up to heal people, to bring finances from anywhere, to save a city and a nation, to save and set free. The impossible. I challenge you to think of something impossible in your life right now and lift it up to Him. Essentially I am being pushed to risk BIG! If you have nothing you can think of ask God what He wants to do. He will tell you.
That is all for now, thank you so much reading. please comment or ask questions or encourage, I could use it:) With infinite love, holly
ps. please excuse grammatical and spelling/typing mistakes. please be advised that i will make a lot.
pps. The first book we had to read is "When Heaven Invades Earth" by Bill Johnson. It was pretty awesome, it gives a pretty accurate picture of the heart of Bethel.
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