worshipping with the angels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8Xh5-1nBtc&NR=1

Holly Golightly

I have learned that crafted into the nature of man is the raw need and desire to belong. I even just look at the word "belong" (not being nerdy and looking up etymology or anything like that but simply into my own heart) and I see to be somewhere that longs for you, to be in company of people or just one person who longs for you to be and be with you. "It is not good for man to be alone", nor is God alone but 3 in 1. And what is the difference per say of standing in an elevator with a bunch of other people, in the mere vicinity of another to crossing that line where one does not feel and is in fact not "alone". For those who have found a sense of belonging, they, can sit in there house by themselves and not experience "alone" that which the Creator has declared is not good.

And so, I have a experienced as of late a bit of revelation on this topic, after having watched the film "Breakfast At Tiffany's" starring Audrey Hepburn.

Here are the final lines to the end scene of this film that have so revealed me. Holly has the capability to be anyone for anyone and knows how to get what she thinks will make her happy, by creating these false identities and living on the superficial side of life with people, her apartment is hardly furnished even though she has been living there for over a year and she has not even named her cat because really she believes she will move some place or something will happen or something better will come along so there is no point in settling in. and here in the final scene Paul, the man in love with Holly is willing and expressing his desire to love her.

Paul Varjak: I love you.
Holly Golightly: So what.
Paul Varjak: So what? So plenty! I love you, you belong to me!
Holly Golightly: [tearfully] No. People don't belong to people.
Paul Varjak: Of course they do!
Holly Golightly: I'll never let ANYBODY put me in a cage.
Paul Varjak: I don't want to put you in a cage, I want to love you!

Holly Golightly: It's the same thing.
Paul Varjak: No it's not. Holly...

Holly Golightly: I'm not Holly. I'm not Lula Mae, either. I don't know who I am! I'm like cat here, a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.

Paul Varjak: You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somaliland. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

And in this God was taught me. We can know about it Him and what He is like and even hear Him say I love you, know His promises, know His story and not be able to receive or experience that love because we don't engage in the relationship. In this scene from the film, the man is sitting there right next to her offering his love to Holly, but she cannot experience that love unless she chooses to enter in to that relationship, unless she says "Yes." And things just started hitting me, to fully experience the love of God we have to say "Yes" once, yes, but over and over and over again, walking deeper into it, otherwise we just know a lot of facts of who He is and what he is like, but never tasting the tenderness of His love.

What did this look like practically, well, it started to unravel and is still unwraveling bit by bit, but I have been in a season now for a couple years where I have moved several times over the past 4 years. And here I am now, in Redding California, and it dawned on me...Ok I'm going to engage in this city. I am home. My license plates have been changed, my phone number has been changed to a local number, I am voting in the California elections and I have chosen to make this place home, to embrace it. I have been thinking things like where in my life is there any doubt in who God is, and pursuing those things and turning them all over to Him, that I might truly trust in Him alone and thereby know Him by experience. At times it has been scary, but even in this He is so faithful that I am monitoring my thoughts and refuse to even say that this has been scary (as a scary rooted in fear) because it takes away from believing in His faithfulness. It is not scary because He is so faithful. Ah, it is all unfolding, what a beautiful process. But faithful He most certainly is. It has been an incredible series of weeks of break through! bless His name forever!

from glory to glory

Its been ages since i've written, apologies to readers who follow. This semester has been incredible. it would be absolutely impossible to describe the way that I am falling more in love with My King Jesus, and falling deeper into the trust of my Father who is forever faithful, and to move in tandem with precious Holy Spirit. I have learned to be lost in and lost without His Presence, like Moses on the mountain, refusing to move unless His Presence goes with him for it was all that made him and his people different from all the peoples of the world. The same is so true for us who call upon His Name, the only thing that makes me different is the abiding residence of His Manifest presence in me by His precious unending enabling grace. His love soaked presence, where anything is possible, where every wall must come down, where every sickness must flee, where all wisdom abides, where every chain is broken, where every captive is set free, where the living waters flow and fill my every fiber, where all joy and satisfaction habitate. Oh bless His name forever and ever and let everything within me worship Him. Never doubt His promises, do battle in prayer with the words spoken over your life, for He is faithful!
I have seen healing, walls of pain and hardness fall down at the word of the Lord and people and myself fall in puddle of tears, completely irrational giddy joyous holy laughter, I felt my body tremble and shake in His Mighty Loving Presence, felt the intensity of His jealous love for me, and the complete safety of the Father's embrace. I have dumped my life on His lap, broken my alabaster jar at His feet, and will waste my life the one who has given breath to me and all things. I have learned He wants me to be loved me so deeply its completely uncomfortable and to love so extravagantly and humbly that it's offensive. Thank you precious Jesus. The only reasonable response is thanks.

Healing!

Gotta celebrate the small beginnings!! A couple friends and I prayed for a fellow student who had level 8 pain on a scale of 1-10 in both arms and elbow joints, the right arms was healed almost instantly and the left arm went down to level 2 pain and he recovered full range of motion. woo hooo!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus :)

planted

psalm 145:16 "You open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing."
psalm 87:7 "All my springs are in You"
John 6:35 "Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, he who believes in Me will never thirst."
John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to Father but through Me."

We are as if great and mighty trees whose roots have been choicely laid in the promise land by the banks of the river of life. Our life bread is this source and this source alone, and when the river runs low our roots grow further into the ground seeking the deeper waters, for we have been planted in this place an cannot be moved, true life comes from the the source that flows by our side and nutrient from soil of its saturation. I am content to be planted in this place.

Revelation 22:1-2 "And He showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, come from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yeilding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations."

pause

A billow of steam unfurls in a rumble from the inner sanctum of my coffee cup this late morning, as I continue to savor all that God is doing in me, has done, and has promised to do. This past week I have been blasted by the likes of Heidi Baker, Bill Johnson, Kevin Dedmon, Kris Vallotton and now Randy Clark, thats enough Holy Spirit to send anyone spinning, and boy am I tumbling. The more it sinks in that anything is possible with God and that He loves us completely all the time, never stops for a second having wonderful loving thoughts toward us I realize how small is my thinking, I realize there is no room for a second of self pity, for a moment of looking at the lack when I have every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus, when I realize the only reason I am standing alive is because of the Breath of Life in me that holds ALL things together, the sheer magnitude of my understanding of existence is exponentially expanding, and I desire to be possessed by this great love, to become a living expression of it, to release all understanding and say "Yes!" to what I think is impossible trusting and laughing with tickled glee in the great intimate love my of Almighty Papa God, Our Bridegroom Jesus, and Living Breath of Life Holy Spirit.

verses to chomp

ez 47 and rev 22 let loose, relinquish control, and swim in the river, life overflow its banks.

no longer

There must come a point where you look at yourself in the mirror and know, sometimes by choice sometimes by transformation but that you really are no longer your old man. But that you are a new creation in Christ Jesus, and everything that that means. You a free, boundless, limitless in the perfect He. You are completely and totally accepted and chosen by the only one who can really choose.That your life has been written by the Author and illustrated by the Artist. That you are completely satisfied in His love alone. That He is your source. That you are full and satisfied in Him alone. There must come a day when you are beautiful because He thinks you are, when you are are loved because you are His beloved. There must come a day where you own the name that is brazened in your inner man...Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. A name that flows in harmony with inspiration, that is, the act of breathing. The very air is Spirit.
Whether we feel it, or know it to be true, it is Truth. There is no use living in anything other.

be hungry and satisfied.

A call the intimacy with the living God inside of you. The kingdom is within you. Everything that God could give you, He has already given it to you in Jesus. "It is finished." I have watched a pattern occur in my life where I feel lack in some way and cry out for it, as if it needed to be sent by mail from some place far far away, the kingdom is inside me. God is near, so very near. So there is this incredible beautiful tension of discover the kingdom, that is within us. Our bellies are full in Jesus, yet there exists this incredible groan for more that escapes my lips regularly from some deep unseen place. How do we be satisfied and hungry at the same time? I am chewing on this one, We hunger for the manifestation of what we know to be true and hidden with Jesus, who is within us, waiting to be revealed in increasing measure. So I need only meditate on the fullness in Jesus within me, and I will be satisfied. I've noticed that even as I am aware of this fullness I can feel it and it releases His Presence. Let this year be marked with this intimacy. We are not lacking, but complete in Christ Jesus. As I have heard quoted so often here, "God hides things for us, not from us" like the proverb that says, "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings to search a matter out"

The more I sit, embrace and delight in the fullness of God in me, the more I discover about Him and about who I am in Him, and watch the overflow of Him released. I love you Jesus.

Permission

There is a destiny that God has for your life, spaces in heaven reserved for your access alone, that He alone can take you to. Because He not only loves you so much He died to know you, but He also really likes you and wants to do everything with you, in love all day long. Jesus died so that this could happen; so that you could know Love Himself and pursue a great love story together releasing the sweet fragrance of heaven and precious name of Jesus wherever you go. He will take away every obstacle that gets in the way, fear, doubt, need, pain, sickness, anything that gets in the way of the destiny that He has for you and wants to make happen with you. It's something only you can do, the world will be less without it. It will be great, it will be grand, it will be real. You will be free of every chain and protected in His arms, filled with love and belly blasting joy. And you will be able to give this gift through His love to everyone, to give to everyone the Greatest Love of All, freedom and destiny. You have permission to go chase your destiny. Go.

don't talk, pray.

Just a quick note of truth i've encountered over the past two weeks...I realized that I should be praying a whole lot more than I should talk, counsel, minister or explain. Not by words, but by the power of God. It is a whole lot easier too.

On another note, I was blasted by the joy of the Lord last night with two friends and was left crawling out of church and laying on the parking lot cement laughing with utter and complete joy! Let this year be marked with His Joy! After all it was for the JOY! set before Him that He endured the cross, (hebrews 12:2) and in His Presence is fullness of JOY! (psalm 16) Let me always abide in Your Presence God.