"The Demystification of How One Soccer Playing Bible Bashing Woman Ends Up At Supernatural School of Ministry"
An intriguing tale indeed, if time permits you I'd like to share this story of the past 3 years or so of my life.
Some time in 1993 in Miami Springs, Florida a nine year old girl fell in love. She fell in love with the sport of soccer. In the midst of family struggles and the crazy advent of puberty and adolescence, this young girl clung desperately to her lover for identity and safe harbor from the confusion all around. But as the years went by she began to experience the affects of clinging to a love that could never really satisfy, and to a persona who was never really she. For little did she know then that the things we do or achieve are not at all the composition of who we really are, and a great sadness began to sink in, little by little, until it over took the now young woman who had never let herself be fully known by herself or anyone else outside of kicking around a silly soccer ball.
Here is where things get interesting. Up to this point I hope you can tell that "she" is me!:) I played soccer in college all four years and every year I sunk deeper and deeper in to depression. By the tail end of my senior year I had learned to manage my depression, but this one day I just did not know what to do, graduation was coming up and I had no plans (after all, essentially soccer was my major in college). And so one cold dark spring day in New York I about to get ready to go somewhere and I was overcome with despair. I fell to my knees and for the first time lifted my head to the sky and said "What am I going to do?!" and I heard "Just pray." So I began to pray every night. Soon later an opportunity came for me to play soccer professionally in Denmark which I within two months would quit to face the great unknown, knowing full well that I was hiding in soccer. And also a man came into my life that while the relationship was brief and less than ideal He shared with me about this Jesus. Four months of wine drinking, mad- journaling, long walk taking, soul searching and a four month long road trip up the East Coast later God came marching into my life. I simply would not settle until this hunger was satisfied, I knew there had to me more. A dear friend I hadn't heard from in 6 years called me and I knew she was changed and somehow peaceful since the last time I saw her. Jesus had gotten a hold of her life and now I could ask her about all the burning exploding feeling in my chest and all my questions! She pointed me to a semi-pro Christian soccer team called the Charlotte Eagles in Charlotte, NC. Now, up until about a year or so before this point I wanted nothing to do with Jesus or Christianity for the majority of my life, I thought this soccer team was going to be a bunch long skirt and turtleneck wearing open toed sandals and no make up kind of gig. Fortunately, they were a bunch of incredibly talented soccer players and beautiful cool women, who would lead me to the Lord and baptize me in the Gulf of Mexico on a road trip. When this happened I knew that God loved me and that He now lived inside of me and I would never experience the degree of the emptiness that depression had over me again. This team would also invite me on my first missions trips. First to Brazil for 4 months!! That was so tough, but awesome! and then later to Ethiopia in April 2008.
This is where the supernatural part comes in so get ready because I know what I experienced and I know I am not crazy. Up to this point in all my Bible reading, I had just assumed that angels and demons and miracles and deliverance and satan was this super high lofty esoteric realm that surely little 6 month old Christian Holly would never experience or only existed back in the Bible day. But how like Jesus to say "You are ready now for I am sufficient." The Lady Eagles took a team trip to Ethiopia where a portion of our trip would be spending time(4 days) and ministering to an Ethiopian women's soccer team. We spent this time with them out at a camp in the bush playing soccer, having fun, and sharing stories. For those four days I began having nightmares where I would wake up literally paralyzed and one night even watched as a dark figure approached me and I could no longer tell if my eyes were open or closed. I was scared. By the fourth day at dinner time we would quickly discover one of the Ethiopian soccer players was demonically possessed as she manifested in incredible strength right in front of our eyes. Leaders immediately took her to a safe place and began praying for her deliverance and exercising the authority of Jesus over her. Meanwhile our team worshiped and prayed for an hour until the lady was delivered and walked out in perfect peace. This was my first experience with the supernatural, unfortunately the dark side of it. But it was not over for me.
A few weeks later, as my second season with the Lady Eagles began, I began again having nightmares in which I would awake paralyzed and would feel and the presence of evil in my room. I would at one point actually see that a demon was in my room for a period of 2 months. In this time I felt helpless against it for I did not know the authority of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit within me. The Bible was a live and well for me and realized that the word of God really was my sword (Eph 6). And that "For in Him dwells the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." Colossians 2:9-10 Once I began to accept this I would slowly but surely work up the courage to face the demon in my room. And one night I was determined so I sat up in my bed and began to pray until I believed what I was praying and I literally could feel the difference of just me praying and then suddenly I felt myself full of the truth and presence of Jesus, at this moment the demon just left. For it is that way. "Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it" Colossians 2:15 And I understood that Jesus in power was really in me.
This catapulted me into the world of the supernatural Christianity whether I wanted it or not. And if satan is real and has real power over the ignorant I chose to become un-ignorant and began to take authority of the places in my life that I realized satan was having a picnic. One being depression. (Note: I realize that some cases of depression require some medical help and cannot be treated entirely as a spiritual case) There are more things that God has brought up over this past year but as I bring it to the power of Jesus, it must bow down to his precious name and obey.
And I now understand Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
So if the evil is real, how much more is God's reality, His healing, His miracles, His signs and wonders? And then I read this verse..."John14:12 "Most assuredly I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father." WHAT???!!! Greater works??? ME???
Now I know it is not about miracles in and of themselves. For what He desires is simply us to know Him and be known. Salvation in and of itself is a miracle and supernatural event. Through His works, we learn what He is like, and Jesus healed every single person that came to Him. And Jesus only did what He saw His Father do in heaven. That tells me a lot about the heart of the Father. And suddenly I realized that I was living under the visage of a lesser Gospel, living under less than what Jesus paid the price for me to have.
But the problem was I was not seeing this in my everyday life or in everyday church. No one was talking about it, but it is right there in front of my face and right in my bedroom! My experience of Jesus has been separate from any ingrained theology or denomination and I realized that the Bible was not fully alive in the place I was in outside of the pages it was written on. Sure there was a whole lot behavior heart modification and studies being taught(which are so valuable), but no interaction, relationship or mention of the Person of the Holy Spirit who Jesus spent a hefty amount of time talking about and even told the disciples NOT to go out and minister until the Holy Spirit came and they received power.
So I have found myself here at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, where I am letting the Word of God work in and through me. When I look at the ministry of Jesus there was nothing natural about it and if He not only is our example but also lives in us, it doesn't seem that crazy to say "supernatural." Reading the Bible it just seems like the supernatural is everyday Christian life. Jesus is the same today, as He was then, and will ever be. I am unaware of whatever publicity or articles are online about this place, all I know is that I read a few books by the pastors and been listening to their Sunday morning sermons via podcast for the past year and come alive inside. And I am fully committed to follow Jesus and power of His love wherever it takes me, that I may become more free and more filled with Him that I can be like Paul when He says "For the Kingdom of God is not in word, but in power" 1Corinthians 4:20, all coming from the overflow of the greatest commandment of loving God with all my being and life and loving others as myself. And I am watching joyfully as the fruits of the Spirit are manifesting themselves in my life by the incredible working of God. I am free, by the glorious work of Jesus!
So please forgive the length of this address but I felt I had to do it. It was not meant to put anything in anyone's face but expose my journey as I lived it these past two and half years. I want to live transparently, honorably, and passionately for what I believe and know to be true. Bless you for reading this, and thank you so much for being apart of my life.
